My Beloved Husband

Hi Baby, I miss you so very much, everynite I lay here and wonder are you really okay, I ask God when will he come get me too so we can again be together, honey the only time I can say I know I was trully loved is when we were together, God how I miss you, I long to hear you tell me that you love me, or that you miss me, need me anything just to hear your voice, just one more time, oh God what I wouldn't give. I remember all the happy times we had together, oh the really awesome trips we took, remember when you thought I had won one thousand quarters and I promise I'll never ever forget the look on your wonderful face when I told you nope babe this is quarters its a thousand dollars, you were so very happy, that entire trip we had a blast. I cherish those earings oh so much, I won't change anything not a single thing, I have even your shoes still by the door, your coat is still hanging there I guess I hope somehow by some miracle I will wake up and this will all be a horrible dream, these past months will not have been real, you will still be right here with me where you belong, oh Baby I miss you I need you so very bad, in my entire life honey nothing has ever ever hurt like this, I don't know how to fix it, I really don't I try to pray, I ask God to please help me, I even tried to go to one of them grief thingy's the fellow said I was all over the place, what did he excpect, I know, the nurses know, the doctor's know and our doctor knows they literally killed you, they went against my wishes and I was your next of kin and lied through their teeth, without telling me and stopped all of your treatment and honey you know I didn't know, as long as I live I will never ever forgive them for what they did to you my heart hurts so bad, the night you needed me, I felt your calls as if the telephone had actually rung, it was that strong, I called up there, and honey I begged that nurse, I told her please I am pleading with you let me come up and be with my husband, I know he needs me, please I am telling you we are so very close I can feel his hurt as if he had actually spoken to me, and she said and I quote " he is fine, I just checked on him he is sleeping you can't see him until in the morning the door is locked" and then my phone rang at 6:30am and I was still awake cause as you know I was never able to sleep at night I worried too much about you and after I hung up I got there as quick as I could, hung up called a cab told them 20mins was too long as the hospital had called the man was so kind, he knew us both told me it would be there when I got downstairs and it was, the cab drove as quick as he could I was up there before 7am and a few minutes later the nurse pronounced you gone, I knew you weren't though, when I was holding you in my arms and talking to you I knew you heard every word I said and honey I stayed with you until after 12pm as I had always promised you there was no damn way I'd let you go before I knew for a fact you were gone and I kept my promise I kept all of my promises to you. I wish so much I could be with you, the doctor keeps telling me how very sick I am, wanting me to go here and there, I respect the heck out of him you know that but I don't know why he can't just realize all I want is to be with you, Matt you were and still are my life, I love you so very much, when we got married it was the happiest day of my life. I still remember us swimming first in the pool, oh what fun acting like a couple of kids, but we didn't care, oh how we loved, then we went to the lake, you even took "kiaa" for a swim with you, oh how loved we both were, she misses you, I can always tell when you are here, she will go to playing and purring and I know you are playing with your "baby" just like you alway have. She loves her daddy oh man how she loves her daddy.
I ran into Jarod today, he didn't know I had lost you, he was so sad, I hadn't seen him in a very longtime, at first he was all smiles, asked how's Matt doing, the look on his face when I told him he was literally in tears, that youngman thought a great deal about you sweetie, everyone who knew you thougth the world of you unless ofcourse they were jealous of you or if they had ever crossed you but then that would ofcourse be their problem.
I am going to go and rest, I am so very tired, "Baby" if its in your power, sweetie please come and get me, I am so very unhappy, and I don't have to tell you how very much my poor body is hurting, its really getting bad, I at times really can hardly bare it, I just want to go home with you to wherever you are, I know as long as we are together again we will be happy, please baby I am begging you come get me, you always promised me that you would, honey please come and get me, we belong together not apart please honey I really am ready, "kiaa" can come with us, together we can reach back and bring her too, please baby, I have asked you so very many times I thougth perhaps if I wrote it you would know I really and trully mean it when I say I just want to be with you please baby, my life is with you let's be together forever please, I don't want to live without you, the doctor says I am dying so what difference does it make if it is now or later except that its longer that I hurt, I love you Matt I miss you and I want to be with you so very bad, please baby come and get me okay, thank-you my love!

Your loving wife forever and always!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!