Johnny and June - Heidi Newfield

This song is called Like Johnny & June, God knows Matt and I loved just like they did all the way till the end, oh what I wouldn't have given to have been able to go out like they did together, I miss him each and everyday, when I do try and make alittle bit of an effort trust me the second the govt of Alberta realizes this well they take somethingelse from me, to ensure that life doesn't get in anyway easier so I don't suddenly decide I may actually give life a chance, no need to worry, you folks have gotten me lower than even I ever realized I could go, so not too worry, I await the night or day whichever when Matt finally see's I can't possibly handle it anymore and I do know its getting pretty damn close, things that never before angered me anger me beyond belief these days. I am so mad you even made sure that once again this year I will be forced to freeze all winter just as I did last year, I remember when I'd arrive at the hospital to visit my baby and I'd have to stop downstairs and try to dry and warm my feet in fear he'd see just how much pain I was in trying to get there. You know the funny thing whenever I would try to get a pickup to either go to the hospital or return, always I got a bs excuse of somekind why they were unable to make the pick-up, you know the odd part, since Matt passed not once have I had any trouble with getting a lift from them isn't that odd, were you bastards in on that as well. You know I also don't get why you folks want to make so sure we are never happy say on Thanksgiving or ofcourse Christmas, oh my God, God Forbid we ever feel sort of almost normal, my gosh whatever would you folks do, no not too worry, you keep us so very far below the poverty level you need never worry. I will never ever forget my worker "Blake Cameron" telling me that and I quote my cable, internet and even my telephone now you all use as do I your phone if ever you have say an emergency correct, well according to this goof its a luxury, yup I said it and I wouldn't have posted his name if I weren't telling the gospel truth, he is the meanest excuse for a worker ever, this man called me at and again this is a direct quote"did I wake you" as it was exactlly 8am, okay the office only opens at 8am, and as a rule you can't even get any answer for quite awhile after 8 anyhow I was so shocked,however without thinking I said to him,no you sure didn't wake me as I was up all night worrying over you taking my death benefits from me, I swear, now this is just my opo however he actually sounded oh so pleased to be giving me this news, he said oh thats the reason for my call, I wanted to let you know that you are indeed going to be loosing this check as we are taking it from you. Well ofcourse I tried to call where it comes from which is the other govt and they were so very nice they told me not too worry, noway could they take it as it comes from them and goes direct to me and I am most assuredly entitled to it, anyhow what he nor I had counted on was this jerk, when he found out he couldn't take it, he just decided to take it from my AISH check, okay if bychance you are reading this please be honest with me, tell me if you were terminally ill, had severe problems getting around, okay he sent me a form for a bus pass, I am like ya right how am I suppossed to buy it, and I can't walk that far anyhow. But tell me could you live, my check from AISH is 733.00 a month total now, then I get a death benefit from my husband passing it is for 431.00 a month, okay thats my total income for the entire month, now you gotta buy food which I seldom do, okay then you pay your luxury bill (cable etc..) okay thats approx 165.00 a month, the rent is 750.00 okay tell me the God's truth wouldn't you be upset, that 431.000 didn't make me rich, but it helped oh so much, the part that really gets me is they keep telling me oh its okay to get a job and earn that ammount your allowed upto 500 a month, okay if I am then why can't I have this, I was told I was allowed by the worker who originally set up Matt's financial benefits, well according to them he didn't get both, he did too, they know for a fact they are lying as do I, I am praying with all of my heart and soul that God Above will help me, I can't do this anymore, he is the cruelest excuse for a human being ever. I contacted our Premiere, Ed Stelmach, to be honest I didn't excpect much, I got abit of a surprise I told them everything, how they first took the 2500 then now the 431 I said heck why, plus he phoned me 2hours after telling me he had decided that yes I was going to be loosing my check okay, he phoned me back 2 hours later said oh I just wanted you to know that you won't have enough for your rent anymore, he is so mean and heartless, you see as hard as it is for me to walk to the bank, I thought well I'll make it abit easier for me, I won't go get the cash each month, instead I am going to take and have it paid direct by my AISH, well that was all good when my check was its full amount, I had 419 left after rent, plus my 431, I would pay my rent, get a few groceries, I'd even try to pick up a few things I might need, now heck I can't even afford to buy a bar of soap, serious I am worried as this month I need both toilet paper and also laundry soap, unless ofcourse he excpects me to wear the same clothes day in and out, you know I wouldn't be at all surprised. When he first told me this might happen, I told him that last winter due to my problem with my circulation I lost 2toes, they froze, and I had found a pair and intended to put them on lay away, he just shrugged, cold cold man, has no business doing the job he does. You know he has a supervisor, I don't know her name but she is one of the nicest, kindest most caring people ever, I don't understand how in God's name she got stuck with someone so cold as him. He acts as if he is taking the funding from his pockets, I didn't ask to be sick, infact years ago, heck it was back before Matt and I were married I asked if I could please go back to school, I was told I was a waste of the govt. money as I wouldn't live long enough to be able to graduate let alone actually get a job or anything like that, that was approx 15yrs ago, so I think they were just alittle off don't you. I miss my husband terribly, but I know for a fact he'd never put up with any of this, they have made up my mind for me, I am going to sue the hospital, I know without a doubt I am in the absolute right, and I also know I shouldn't have anymore problems living when its all over I should be able to pay my rent and buy some groceries and Matt will rest much easier as I have felt for a very longtime it is what he wants, he would never ever have waited as long as I did, for that I am trully sorry "Baby" but I adore you and I will see to it you get the Justice you so deserve! God Bless You Honey, I pray this will make you happier, and rest easier, God how I miss you oh so much, I only wish you'd come for me, I know now why you haven't you want this, I will file, hopefully once I have done that, all the truth is down, you will then come get me "Baby" I been waiting oh so long for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Always & Forever Your Loving Wifexoxoxoxoox